Hey you guys!!!
Sorry I have been away for so long; but I wanted to let you know that I'm coming back with a lot of new topics. Some might relate to what I have already posted but you'll get some fresh new ones soon. If you have any ideas for topics PLEASE fill free to leave a comment and I'll get to your request.
Monday, September 9, 2013
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Video blogg coming soon
So I know I haven't been on here in awhile, been working on a lot of personal stuff and dealing with personal things. But I am trying to do a video blogg on this pages.....probably on all my pages except my story pages. But I will upload something soon!
Much love,
La Meah Alverta Noel Battle
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Getting right with God
As a child, I have always enjoyed the different ways of learning about God to the point that I can understand it in my mind. Like others and as many Children of God, we stray off the path that he has set for us. This is not just a blog, this is a story of truth and a testimony of all that I've been through. Some may be able to relate to this, and this just may open the eyes, hearts and minds of others that want to get right. I ask suggest to you as another open minded person, to share this with someone that can relate to this and want to seek God and his son Jesus Christ in their hearts.
When I was a kid, I would sit up late with my mom and sisters and watch Christian music videos on a Friday night. I always enjoyed it, we saw some that might have been serious and touch the heart and some that we rocked out to and made us laugh. Some people view Christians as 'pushy believers' but we weren't raised that way. We were raised to know who God is, to allow him in our hearts, and spread his word for others to know him. To be honest, I never liked getting up early at all, and especially on the weekend. so for me to get up early on a Sunday when I already did Monday-Friday was crazy. But when I got to church on Sundays or even Sunday School, I loved sharing what I went through as a testimony and love speaking to the adult Sunday School Class what we learned. Out of me and my 2 sisters, I guess you can say I was the bold one that wanted to be heard and have people hear my point of view, the God showed me things. As got older, understood and learned how to share the Word of God to others like me or younger than me in a manner that they would get it. I never forced things on people, that wasn't who I was, God didn't make me that way. I would always tell my friends, "I'm not forcing you to become something your not or believe in something you may not believe in, but I know God knows what your going through. He just wants you to go to him about it. There's only so much we can do." And sure enough, not only did they respect what I tell them, but took it into consideration. By time I had graduated High School, I was strayed away from the road that God had me on, to a road that said "short cut" in my mind and for some will know exactly what I'm talking about. This was the start of feeling alone and leaving God's side.
As a High School Graduate, I kinda started changing who I was, who God made me to be. I had hit rock bottom for about a 1yr-1yr 1/2, and for me that was depression and following what the world said I was suppose to be. My mom and dad had things that weren't working out and she left with my grandmother to Oregon(we are in Georgia, so that's across the U.S.). I had never felt so much pain like I did when she left. I cried every day. She had left a week before my birthday, so that year it wouldn't have been the same. To others when I laughed or smiled, they thought I was okay, but I really wasn't. I had lost a friend that understood me the most besides God, and even though we had our differences, no one got me like she did. I felt like other kids my age who's parents were separated. Even though she came back two months later, I was still having my own personal problems. I was still following the world as I was mad at it at the same time. All my struggles I dealt with, I was not proud how I dealt with it. There were a lot of things that I was not proud of and most of all, I lost my faith in God even though I believed in him still. I had needed a change, I wanted to be the happy little girl he knew and that I knew as well. I wanted to be me again....
The Year is now 2012, the start of my happiness came back Christmas of 2010. I had been proposed to by my best friend from band. I had always believe that he made our friendship for a reason and put us together because we needed each other. November 16, 2011 he gave me another reason to be happy. God had blessed me and my fiance with a healthy baby boy. I was so blessed that nothing bad had happen to him or even come with him through his birth, but this opened my eyes to the fullest. I was now a mom, and I have someone to protect from the evils in this world. As February 2012 came, God had called me to the front of the Sanctuary as a teacher would to a student to the front of the class. There is where I fell to my knees and laid every burden I had carried on my back and in my heart from 2008 to now on the table. I cried my eyes out for forgiveness, I didn't want to die this way; I didn't want to be rejected at Gates of Heaven; I didn't want to Burn in Hell for Eternity. I had to change, for me, my family, for God, and for my son. I cried to him, "Lord, I am sorry for what I've done and who I became. Forgive me for leaving your side, Forgive me for not turning to you. Help me to become stronger than what I am. Let me know that it is okay, let me know that you still love me and that I am forgiven!" As soon as I spoke those words, fellow church members, his angels/children placed their hands upon my back and started to pray. I knew God had herd my cry, I knew he had forgiven me. Then I herd him speak to me through two men from the church. One man had said to me, "I could see that you had so many burdens on your back that you carried for so long, and once you told him what it was I saw it being released. Its over, that suffering and pain is over and he loves you and forgives you."; Another man had told me, "Anytime when we feel alone or have hit our rock bottom, God is always there. Tell him what it is, and he will deal with it. God loves you and forgives you". Just to hear in two different ways that I was forgiven and that he loves me still made me happy. I went back that day and apologized to my parents if I had ever hurt them in the past to forgive me.
I have learned that its not to late, its never to late to turn you life around and get right with God. I am back in his arms and working my talents through him. I share this story, my story because I know that there is someone out their there that needs to hear this and needs to know that I understand what its like and how hard it is. I want to allow this story to touch others and whether you believe in him or not, he is there and he is want and willing to help you. Now the question is.....
......will you let him?
When I was a kid, I would sit up late with my mom and sisters and watch Christian music videos on a Friday night. I always enjoyed it, we saw some that might have been serious and touch the heart and some that we rocked out to and made us laugh. Some people view Christians as 'pushy believers' but we weren't raised that way. We were raised to know who God is, to allow him in our hearts, and spread his word for others to know him. To be honest, I never liked getting up early at all, and especially on the weekend. so for me to get up early on a Sunday when I already did Monday-Friday was crazy. But when I got to church on Sundays or even Sunday School, I loved sharing what I went through as a testimony and love speaking to the adult Sunday School Class what we learned. Out of me and my 2 sisters, I guess you can say I was the bold one that wanted to be heard and have people hear my point of view, the God showed me things. As got older, understood and learned how to share the Word of God to others like me or younger than me in a manner that they would get it. I never forced things on people, that wasn't who I was, God didn't make me that way. I would always tell my friends, "I'm not forcing you to become something your not or believe in something you may not believe in, but I know God knows what your going through. He just wants you to go to him about it. There's only so much we can do." And sure enough, not only did they respect what I tell them, but took it into consideration. By time I had graduated High School, I was strayed away from the road that God had me on, to a road that said "short cut" in my mind and for some will know exactly what I'm talking about. This was the start of feeling alone and leaving God's side.
As a High School Graduate, I kinda started changing who I was, who God made me to be. I had hit rock bottom for about a 1yr-1yr 1/2, and for me that was depression and following what the world said I was suppose to be. My mom and dad had things that weren't working out and she left with my grandmother to Oregon(we are in Georgia, so that's across the U.S.). I had never felt so much pain like I did when she left. I cried every day. She had left a week before my birthday, so that year it wouldn't have been the same. To others when I laughed or smiled, they thought I was okay, but I really wasn't. I had lost a friend that understood me the most besides God, and even though we had our differences, no one got me like she did. I felt like other kids my age who's parents were separated. Even though she came back two months later, I was still having my own personal problems. I was still following the world as I was mad at it at the same time. All my struggles I dealt with, I was not proud how I dealt with it. There were a lot of things that I was not proud of and most of all, I lost my faith in God even though I believed in him still. I had needed a change, I wanted to be the happy little girl he knew and that I knew as well. I wanted to be me again....
The Year is now 2012, the start of my happiness came back Christmas of 2010. I had been proposed to by my best friend from band. I had always believe that he made our friendship for a reason and put us together because we needed each other. November 16, 2011 he gave me another reason to be happy. God had blessed me and my fiance with a healthy baby boy. I was so blessed that nothing bad had happen to him or even come with him through his birth, but this opened my eyes to the fullest. I was now a mom, and I have someone to protect from the evils in this world. As February 2012 came, God had called me to the front of the Sanctuary as a teacher would to a student to the front of the class. There is where I fell to my knees and laid every burden I had carried on my back and in my heart from 2008 to now on the table. I cried my eyes out for forgiveness, I didn't want to die this way; I didn't want to be rejected at Gates of Heaven; I didn't want to Burn in Hell for Eternity. I had to change, for me, my family, for God, and for my son. I cried to him, "Lord, I am sorry for what I've done and who I became. Forgive me for leaving your side, Forgive me for not turning to you. Help me to become stronger than what I am. Let me know that it is okay, let me know that you still love me and that I am forgiven!" As soon as I spoke those words, fellow church members, his angels/children placed their hands upon my back and started to pray. I knew God had herd my cry, I knew he had forgiven me. Then I herd him speak to me through two men from the church. One man had said to me, "I could see that you had so many burdens on your back that you carried for so long, and once you told him what it was I saw it being released. Its over, that suffering and pain is over and he loves you and forgives you."; Another man had told me, "Anytime when we feel alone or have hit our rock bottom, God is always there. Tell him what it is, and he will deal with it. God loves you and forgives you". Just to hear in two different ways that I was forgiven and that he loves me still made me happy. I went back that day and apologized to my parents if I had ever hurt them in the past to forgive me.
I have learned that its not to late, its never to late to turn you life around and get right with God. I am back in his arms and working my talents through him. I share this story, my story because I know that there is someone out their there that needs to hear this and needs to know that I understand what its like and how hard it is. I want to allow this story to touch others and whether you believe in him or not, he is there and he is want and willing to help you. Now the question is.....
......will you let him?
Friday, April 6, 2012
Love=Support
When you love someone: mom, dad, brother, sister, cousin, relative, friends, boyfriend, girlfriend, fiance, husband, wife, and child. No matter who they are, if you love them you would support them right? I have always viewed that the love you give someone should be the same amount in supporting them in what they do. I know that some of the choices that we make in life aren't always the right one, but if you love someone, you should be there no matter what.
As a Christian, I know God loves us very much. As it says in John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, he gave his only begotten son, and who that shall believes in him shall not parish, but have everlasting life." How does this tie in, God gave us someone he loved so much for us to know us love us and die for our sins so that we didn't have to. Where I'm getting at with this, is the fact that when we decide to take the wrong path for support, God still loves us and is always their for us. For example, some women think that the best way to get support for others is to put their bodies out their in order to take care of their family; Its just like for a guy when they feel its ok to get involved with drug dealing. Our family and friends may not and more than likely wont love the idea, but the love they have for you wont change, and they would rather support you in a different way.
When you fully love someone but don't give them that same feeling in support, not gonna lie, its hurtful. I've had to experience that a lot growing up and yea it hurts. As of now, it hurt to feel that same pain again that i haven't felt since my (public) school days. Of course my passion is acting, and recently I have found a website that helps me start easy, simple, and kinda fast. The fact that I looked into it, asked if they had a website for me and my fiance to view before making any kind of payments, i thought was a good thing. But the fact when I tried to talk about or show him the website, but the vibe I received was an "kinda don't care" vibe. Having to actually ask him if he has something against my acting, really bumbed me out for about 3 days cause he said not really. So of course that tells me there is something he doesn't like about it.
We did talk it over and yes that is something that you have to do. To make someone or any one feel as if you don't have their back in whatever they may want to achieve, is very hurtful. If you need to express why you don't support it, then state your reason why so they can understand. Like they say, "It take two to make a thing go right". At this point with his support or not, I'm achieving my dreams, just as i would support his.
As a Christian, I know God loves us very much. As it says in John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, he gave his only begotten son, and who that shall believes in him shall not parish, but have everlasting life." How does this tie in, God gave us someone he loved so much for us to know us love us and die for our sins so that we didn't have to. Where I'm getting at with this, is the fact that when we decide to take the wrong path for support, God still loves us and is always their for us. For example, some women think that the best way to get support for others is to put their bodies out their in order to take care of their family; Its just like for a guy when they feel its ok to get involved with drug dealing. Our family and friends may not and more than likely wont love the idea, but the love they have for you wont change, and they would rather support you in a different way.
When you fully love someone but don't give them that same feeling in support, not gonna lie, its hurtful. I've had to experience that a lot growing up and yea it hurts. As of now, it hurt to feel that same pain again that i haven't felt since my (public) school days. Of course my passion is acting, and recently I have found a website that helps me start easy, simple, and kinda fast. The fact that I looked into it, asked if they had a website for me and my fiance to view before making any kind of payments, i thought was a good thing. But the fact when I tried to talk about or show him the website, but the vibe I received was an "kinda don't care" vibe. Having to actually ask him if he has something against my acting, really bumbed me out for about 3 days cause he said not really. So of course that tells me there is something he doesn't like about it.
We did talk it over and yes that is something that you have to do. To make someone or any one feel as if you don't have their back in whatever they may want to achieve, is very hurtful. If you need to express why you don't support it, then state your reason why so they can understand. Like they say, "It take two to make a thing go right". At this point with his support or not, I'm achieving my dreams, just as i would support his.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Welcome back Meah!
Well, it's me again and I'm back to blogg. For those that read my blogs, I have not updated in awhile because I had my baby in November. My precious little Jacoby Daniel Vega came into the world on November 16,2011. Yes I am a proud mama :). So i am working on a new blog site for new mommies to be and new mommies all together. It's just about what i've learned,gained, and experienced through the pregnancy and as a mommy. I also will be andding a few more other blogg pages in the near future. So look out to see what I have up in coming for 2012!!!!!
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Do you really know what they mean?
In everyday language, we end up saying certain words that we really don't think about, as far as why we use them. Its not just the fact that we're not thinking and realizing that we're saying them, but as far as how we are actually using these words that we are choosing to use. Some of them are actual words in the dictionary and have meaning to the, but when we decide to use them, we turn them into slang and try to give it its own meaning to where it is put in the dictionary. If you're not sure what words I'm talking about, I'm talking about profanity and other words that are up there but just not nice/good to say. Sure I might sound like a little kid, but really think about. Words such as: ass, bastard, bitch, damn, douche, fuck, slut, whore; we're using these words to describe someone else or give ourselves that title instead of our own unique and positive title. In this blog you'll the actual meaning to these words and how they are used as slang words. I will tell you right now, this is not to make anyone feel awkward or offended. So if you get offended, you might not want to read the rest of this....fair warning.
Meaning and slang usage:
ass (n.), pl., ass·es (ăs'ĭz).
Any of several hoofed mammals of the genus Equus, resembling and closely related to the horses but having a smaller build and longer ears, and including the domesticated donkey.
A vain, self-important, silly, or aggressively stupid person.
ass2 (ăs)
n. Vulgar Slang, pl., ass·es (ăs'ĭz).
The buttocks.
The anus.
Sexual intercourse.
bastard (n.)
A child born out of wedlock.
Something that is of irregular, inferior, or dubious origin.
Slang. A person, especially one who is held to be mean or disagreeable.
adj.
Born of unwed parents; illegitimate.
Not genuine; spurious: a bastard style of architecture.
Resembling a known kind or species but not truly such.
bitch (n.)
A female canine animal, especially a dog.
Offensive.
A woman considered to be spiteful or overbearing.
A lewd woman.
A man considered to be weak or contemptible.
Slang. A complaint.
Slang. Something very unpleasant or difficult.
v. Slang, bitched, bitch·ing, bitch·es.
v.intr.
To complain; grumble.
v.tr.
To botch; bungle. Often used with up.
damn
v., damned, damn·ing, damns.
v.tr.
To pronounce an adverse judgment upon. See synonyms at condemn.
To bring about the failure of; ruin.
To condemn as harmful, illegal, or immoral: a cleric who damned gambling and strong drink.
To condemn to everlasting punishment or a similar fate; doom.
To swear at.
v.intr.
To swear; curse.
interj.
Used to express anger, irritation, contempt, or disappointment.
(n.)
The saying of "damn" as a curse.
Informal. The least valuable bit; a jot: not worth a damn.
adv. & adj.
Damned.
Read more: http://www.answers.com/topic/damn#ixzz1ZpzHXLhk
douche (n.)
A stream of water, often containing medicinal or cleansing agents, that is applied to a body part or cavity for hygienic or therapeutic purposes.
A stream of air applied in a similar way.
The application of a douche.
An instrument for applying a douche.
v., douched, douch·ing, douch·es.
v.tr.
To cleanse or treat by means of a douche.
fuck
v., fucked, fuck·ing, fucks.
v.tr.
To have sexual intercourse with.
To take advantage of, betray, or cheat; victimize.
Used in the imperative as a signal of angry dismissal.
v.intr.
To engage in sexual intercourse.
To act wastefully or foolishly.
To interfere; meddle. Often used with with.
(n.)
An act of sexual intercourse.
A partner in sexual intercourse.
A despised person.
Used as an intensive: What the fuck did you do that for?
interj.
Used to express extreme displeasure.
phrasal verbs:
fuck off
Used in the imperative as a signal of angry dismissal.
To spend time idly.
To masturbate.
fuck over
To treat unfairly; take advantage of.
fuck up
To make a mistake; bungle something.
To act carelessly, foolishly, or incorrectly.
To cause to be intoxicated.
hoe (n.)
A tool with a flat blade attached approximately at a right angle to a long handle, used for weeding, cultivating, and gardening.
v., hoed, hoe·ing, hoes.
v.tr.
To weed, cultivate, or dig up with a hoe.
v.intr.
To work with a hoe.
nigger (n.)
Offensive Slang
Used as a disparaging term for a Black person: "You can only be destroyed by believing that you really are what the white world calls a nigger" (James Baldwin).
Used as a disparaging term for a member of any dark-skinned people.
Used as a disparaging term for a member of any socially, economically, or politically deprived group of people.
v., shit, also shat (shăt), shit·ting, shits.
v.intr.
To defecate.
v.tr.
To defecate in.
To tease or try to deceive.
n.
Excrement.
-The act or an instance of defecating.
-shits Diarrhea. Used with the.
-Something considered disgusting, of poor quality, foolish, or otherwise totally unacceptable.
-A mean or contemptible person.
-A narcotic or intoxicant, such as marijuana or heroin.
-Things; items.
-Foolish, deceitful, or boastful language.
-Insolent talk or behavior.
-Trouble or difficulty.
-A small or worthless amount: He doesn't know shit.
interj.
Used to express surprise, anger, or extreme displeasure.
phrasal verb:
shit on
To treat with malice or extreme disrespect.
idioms:
get (one's) shit together
To get organized; put one's affairs or possessions in order.
give a shit
To care the least bit.
no shit
Used to express disbelief.
Used to express contemptuous acknowledgment of the obvious.
shit bricks (or a brick)
To become extremely worried or frightened.
up shit creek (without a paddle)
In dire circumstances with no hope of help.
when the shit hits the fan
When the situation goes awry; when trouble starts.
slut (n.)
A person, especially a woman, considered sexually promiscuous.
A woman prostitute.
A slovenly woman; a slattern.
whore (n.)
A prostitute.
A person considered sexually promiscuous.
A person considered as having compromised principles for personal gain.
intr.v., whored, whor·ing, whores.
To associate or have sexual relations with prostitutes or a prostitute.
To accept payment in exchange for sexual relations.
To compromise one's principles for personal gain.
So next time we decide to use these words, lets think about how we're using them. Lets not use them as a title, expression, referring to someone or even as a name. Because its not who we are...duh!
Sincerely,
La Meah A.N. Battle
Definitions brought to you by: http://www.answers.com
Meaning and slang usage:
ass (n.), pl., ass·es (ăs'ĭz).
Any of several hoofed mammals of the genus Equus, resembling and closely related to the horses but having a smaller build and longer ears, and including the domesticated donkey.
A vain, self-important, silly, or aggressively stupid person.
ass2 (ăs)
n. Vulgar Slang, pl., ass·es (ăs'ĭz).
The buttocks.
The anus.
Sexual intercourse.
bastard (n.)
A child born out of wedlock.
Something that is of irregular, inferior, or dubious origin.
Slang. A person, especially one who is held to be mean or disagreeable.
adj.
Born of unwed parents; illegitimate.
Not genuine; spurious: a bastard style of architecture.
Resembling a known kind or species but not truly such.
bitch (n.)
A female canine animal, especially a dog.
Offensive.
A woman considered to be spiteful or overbearing.
A lewd woman.
A man considered to be weak or contemptible.
Slang. A complaint.
Slang. Something very unpleasant or difficult.
v. Slang, bitched, bitch·ing, bitch·es.
v.intr.
To complain; grumble.
v.tr.
To botch; bungle. Often used with up.
damn
v., damned, damn·ing, damns.
v.tr.
To pronounce an adverse judgment upon. See synonyms at condemn.
To bring about the failure of; ruin.
To condemn as harmful, illegal, or immoral: a cleric who damned gambling and strong drink.
To condemn to everlasting punishment or a similar fate; doom.
To swear at.
v.intr.
To swear; curse.
interj.
Used to express anger, irritation, contempt, or disappointment.
(n.)
The saying of "damn" as a curse.
Informal. The least valuable bit; a jot: not worth a damn.
adv. & adj.
Damned.
Read more: http://www.answers.com/topic/damn#ixzz1ZpzHXLhk
douche (n.)
A stream of water, often containing medicinal or cleansing agents, that is applied to a body part or cavity for hygienic or therapeutic purposes.
A stream of air applied in a similar way.
The application of a douche.
An instrument for applying a douche.
v., douched, douch·ing, douch·es.
v.tr.
To cleanse or treat by means of a douche.
fuck
v., fucked, fuck·ing, fucks.
v.tr.
To have sexual intercourse with.
To take advantage of, betray, or cheat; victimize.
Used in the imperative as a signal of angry dismissal.
v.intr.
To engage in sexual intercourse.
To act wastefully or foolishly.
To interfere; meddle. Often used with with.
(n.)
An act of sexual intercourse.
A partner in sexual intercourse.
A despised person.
Used as an intensive: What the fuck did you do that for?
interj.
Used to express extreme displeasure.
phrasal verbs:
fuck off
Used in the imperative as a signal of angry dismissal.
To spend time idly.
To masturbate.
fuck over
To treat unfairly; take advantage of.
fuck up
To make a mistake; bungle something.
To act carelessly, foolishly, or incorrectly.
To cause to be intoxicated.
hoe (n.)
A tool with a flat blade attached approximately at a right angle to a long handle, used for weeding, cultivating, and gardening.
v., hoed, hoe·ing, hoes.
v.tr.
To weed, cultivate, or dig up with a hoe.
v.intr.
To work with a hoe.
nigger (n.)
Offensive Slang
Used as a disparaging term for a Black person: "You can only be destroyed by believing that you really are what the white world calls a nigger" (James Baldwin).
Used as a disparaging term for a member of any dark-skinned people.
Used as a disparaging term for a member of any socially, economically, or politically deprived group of people.
v., shit, also shat (shăt), shit·ting, shits.
v.intr.
To defecate.
v.tr.
To defecate in.
To tease or try to deceive.
n.
Excrement.
-The act or an instance of defecating.
-shits Diarrhea. Used with the.
-Something considered disgusting, of poor quality, foolish, or otherwise totally unacceptable.
-A mean or contemptible person.
-A narcotic or intoxicant, such as marijuana or heroin.
-Things; items.
-Foolish, deceitful, or boastful language.
-Insolent talk or behavior.
-Trouble or difficulty.
-A small or worthless amount: He doesn't know shit.
interj.
Used to express surprise, anger, or extreme displeasure.
phrasal verb:
shit on
To treat with malice or extreme disrespect.
idioms:
get (one's) shit together
To get organized; put one's affairs or possessions in order.
give a shit
To care the least bit.
no shit
Used to express disbelief.
Used to express contemptuous acknowledgment of the obvious.
shit bricks (or a brick)
To become extremely worried or frightened.
up shit creek (without a paddle)
In dire circumstances with no hope of help.
when the shit hits the fan
When the situation goes awry; when trouble starts.
slut (n.)
A person, especially a woman, considered sexually promiscuous.
A woman prostitute.
A slovenly woman; a slattern.
whore (n.)
A prostitute.
A person considered sexually promiscuous.
A person considered as having compromised principles for personal gain.
intr.v., whored, whor·ing, whores.
To associate or have sexual relations with prostitutes or a prostitute.
To accept payment in exchange for sexual relations.
To compromise one's principles for personal gain.
So next time we decide to use these words, lets think about how we're using them. Lets not use them as a title, expression, referring to someone or even as a name. Because its not who we are...duh!
Sincerely,
La Meah A.N. Battle
Definitions brought to you by: http://www.answers.com
Sunday, September 25, 2011
self-consciousness takes a hold
Do you ever have those moments to where someone can say that "oh there's nothing wrong with you. your beautiful the way you are". But you know when you look in the mirror, you see everything that is wrong. Its not just being able to see everything that is wrong, but also having to deal with them emotionally. I know I'm like that and there are probably a lot of other people that are like that as well. emotionally, we keep how we feel from others, listen to "depressing music", and mainly just want to be left alone with these thoughts and feelings. If we, and when I say we I mean the ones that can relate to what I'm talking about, we know that if we were to tell someone about how we are when we're in this stage, majority of people would label us as emo, but we know that's really not the case.
When we meet someone for the first time or even if its someone that we know all together, they always tell us how beautiful we are or anything on the lines like that. For some of us that have a hard time excepting that all together. It's not like we are not grateful for the compliment from others, we do take it to heart and are happy that someone actually sees us in that way. For us, we know the little things that make us think that we're not beautiful. Think about it, when you get compared to someone else, or someone you may like is attracted to someone that you may feel is so much prettier, or just the fact they like certain way other people may look that they find attractive or beautiful, you know that you would do whatever it takes to look that way. You end up being able to pick out every little thing that you feel is not pretty or makes you beautiful, in other words you pick out the negatives rather than the positives. Yeah, I know that you would say that just be you and you stand out in your own way, well its really difficult to do that when you feel like you have to change you and/or that your competing to get the attention that you are seeking.
Sometimes, its not the fact that its only physical appearances that get to you, its also the mental and emotional side of it as well. I know for fact that physical way we think is what triggers the way we are mentally and emotionally. Put yourself in front of a mirror for example, if you are able to find more negative things about you rather than the positives, imagine how you would feel mentally and emotionally. Some of you maybe able to get yourself pepped up and not acknowledge that, but again, its not that easy for others to do that. When we get into that mental and emotional stage, it can be a major pain and challenge to get out of. We can also slip into that stage without even realizing it; its something we never do by choice, it just happens randomly. Most of the time its just some random funk we get into or just the fact that we can be in a mellow mood and just let our mind wander into whatever it wants to think about at that time. Like I said, its not something we choose to do for fun, it just happens.
Now, a lot of the blogs I know I put myself in the situations every now and then just to give examples. With this one I go through all the time and it helps me write whatever comes to mind or how I feel about something. But with this blog, I can fully say, this blog says a lot about me, and for those of you that are reading this and are saying to yourself, "that's me, but how does she know that so well?" that's because I am that type of person as well....just like you this is my story as well.
I am the self-consciousness type of person where the physical, mental, and emotional type get to me really bad. I never chose to be like this or for it to be as bad as it now but that's just how it is, and when I'm trying to change it, its never easy. Physically, I never really thought that I was attractive at all. I always saw how other girls looked and the attention they received from anyone. I definitely was one of those girls that thought "Do I really have to look this way in order to get noticed?" To act one way was one thing I knew was not the way to get attention, and I knew that dressing in that manner would give off different signals, but dressing on the lines for short and tight fitting clothes, was that really the way to go? I knew that being me was the best thing to be, but the guys I liked we into that kind of look. So I figured, dressing in somewhat of that manner but still make it feel like me would help. Sure it did cause I did get notice by more than the guys I had a crush on, but why have to go through all of that. I was like that with my fiance, when we started talking again he told me how girls with anchor piercings
As far as my mental and emotional side, for me its actually worse than my physical self-conscious side. My mental mentality can be triggered by just about anything and causes my emotions to spark. Its kind of difficult to really describe what goes on through my mental stage but I can tell you that I mainly get like that whenever my feelings from my physical side come through or when I feel like something is my fault and someone will judge me by it or as if I am the bad guy and I can never do anything right. It sucks being in those stages cause its never easy to get out of. For me, those feelings last for more than just one day. I can be like that with my fiance sometimes and it sucks cause we can resolve it and be ok, but that feeling is still there and I cant just get rid of it like that on the spot. I end up being very mellow and to myself whether its after something like that or just the fact I'm just really chilled. It gets on my nerves when I'm in that mode and other think I'm mad or depressed about something, or even just because I'm not saying anything. I'm perfectly fine and sometimes I'm not, but just simply asking whats up rather than assuming is much better.
Well, that's a huge chunk about me that you now know. Of course there will be other blogs like these to where I'll fully tell you about me and what I'm like. My blogs are never a diary, there more of a blogging journal where its meant to be read and to receive feed back.
Sincerely,
La Meah A.N. Battle
When we meet someone for the first time or even if its someone that we know all together, they always tell us how beautiful we are or anything on the lines like that. For some of us that have a hard time excepting that all together. It's not like we are not grateful for the compliment from others, we do take it to heart and are happy that someone actually sees us in that way. For us, we know the little things that make us think that we're not beautiful. Think about it, when you get compared to someone else, or someone you may like is attracted to someone that you may feel is so much prettier, or just the fact they like certain way other people may look that they find attractive or beautiful, you know that you would do whatever it takes to look that way. You end up being able to pick out every little thing that you feel is not pretty or makes you beautiful, in other words you pick out the negatives rather than the positives. Yeah, I know that you would say that just be you and you stand out in your own way, well its really difficult to do that when you feel like you have to change you and/or that your competing to get the attention that you are seeking.
Sometimes, its not the fact that its only physical appearances that get to you, its also the mental and emotional side of it as well. I know for fact that physical way we think is what triggers the way we are mentally and emotionally. Put yourself in front of a mirror for example, if you are able to find more negative things about you rather than the positives, imagine how you would feel mentally and emotionally. Some of you maybe able to get yourself pepped up and not acknowledge that, but again, its not that easy for others to do that. When we get into that mental and emotional stage, it can be a major pain and challenge to get out of. We can also slip into that stage without even realizing it; its something we never do by choice, it just happens randomly. Most of the time its just some random funk we get into or just the fact that we can be in a mellow mood and just let our mind wander into whatever it wants to think about at that time. Like I said, its not something we choose to do for fun, it just happens.
Now, a lot of the blogs I know I put myself in the situations every now and then just to give examples. With this one I go through all the time and it helps me write whatever comes to mind or how I feel about something. But with this blog, I can fully say, this blog says a lot about me, and for those of you that are reading this and are saying to yourself, "that's me, but how does she know that so well?" that's because I am that type of person as well....just like you this is my story as well.
I am the self-consciousness type of person where the physical, mental, and emotional type get to me really bad. I never chose to be like this or for it to be as bad as it now but that's just how it is, and when I'm trying to change it, its never easy. Physically, I never really thought that I was attractive at all. I always saw how other girls looked and the attention they received from anyone. I definitely was one of those girls that thought "Do I really have to look this way in order to get noticed?" To act one way was one thing I knew was not the way to get attention, and I knew that dressing in that manner would give off different signals, but dressing on the lines for short and tight fitting clothes, was that really the way to go? I knew that being me was the best thing to be, but the guys I liked we into that kind of look. So I figured, dressing in somewhat of that manner but still make it feel like me would help. Sure it did cause I did get notice by more than the guys I had a crush on, but why have to go through all of that. I was like that with my fiance, when we started talking again he told me how girls with anchor piercings
As far as my mental and emotional side, for me its actually worse than my physical self-conscious side. My mental mentality can be triggered by just about anything and causes my emotions to spark. Its kind of difficult to really describe what goes on through my mental stage but I can tell you that I mainly get like that whenever my feelings from my physical side come through or when I feel like something is my fault and someone will judge me by it or as if I am the bad guy and I can never do anything right. It sucks being in those stages cause its never easy to get out of. For me, those feelings last for more than just one day. I can be like that with my fiance sometimes and it sucks cause we can resolve it and be ok, but that feeling is still there and I cant just get rid of it like that on the spot. I end up being very mellow and to myself whether its after something like that or just the fact I'm just really chilled. It gets on my nerves when I'm in that mode and other think I'm mad or depressed about something, or even just because I'm not saying anything. I'm perfectly fine and sometimes I'm not, but just simply asking whats up rather than assuming is much better.
Well, that's a huge chunk about me that you now know. Of course there will be other blogs like these to where I'll fully tell you about me and what I'm like. My blogs are never a diary, there more of a blogging journal where its meant to be read and to receive feed back.
Sincerely,
La Meah A.N. Battle
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